God Opens Doors When One Man Closes Them.

Back in September of 2025 I went through a traumatic and devastating episode in my mental health and in my career and it changed me for life.

Life had been a flurry of ups and downs, ebbs and flows, ins and outs, but one thing I had to share with you all in my very first blog post on The TOI House is that I am super transparent. I share things with people in hopes that they too would feel deepened enough within their own spirits to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is not because you want to tell the world your business, but it's a way to share testimony of resilience. Being resilient is a garment of battle worn robes and it is determination in a field of overcoming odds, flowing into obstacles that could not have been foreseen but it had always been foretold.

Never in my life would I have thought what had happened to me in 2025 in September was even on my radar of 1. Being laid off from a job I was at for over a decade and 2. being physically assaulted by two men who -- by the way -- were off duty law enforcement without a trial or a lawyer to represent me. The lawyers said if I didn't have broken bones it wasn't worth their time... But, God is always in control. The process to get vindicated for my injuries with months of physical therapy and mental health therapy let me down in ways that exasperated my already heightened condition of being mentally diagnosed with bipolar 1. Add on anxiety, fear, depression, PTSD and hypervigilance to a condition I was previously managing well without medication. Back on meds and even more meds at this point. Phew God.

I've been through the ringer in life, but I always bounce back. I called myself the bounce back Queen but, one thing I wish I knew then was that we are not made to bounce back. We are made to give God all the glory so that He can protect us from the harm that we are bouncing back from!

Saying to God in my darkest hour, "God, what can I do for you?" Was the opening He needed in order to swing full force into my life and SAVE me from myself and rip me out of the grasp of the enemy. Ripping is exactly what it felt like and no one and I mean no one, knows what I went through but me and Him. God knows all things including the things I choose not to share with my loved ones. He knew the things I wasn't willing to share with myself. There are many things we hide from our own consciousness and that is a way to survive the pain that would surely kill us.

What God showed me was that I didn't need to hide from the pain, that He would EASE it instead. That the way I was living was a toxic cycle of determination and unsatisfactory influence in my own life. What does that mean? It means I was determined to live a successful, fun-filled, love led and happy life where possible, but there are dark forces that prevent us from moving in the direction of that goal. That is where God showed up and showed me the things that existed in the spiritual realm and that was something unimaginable.

We often watch movies like Star Wars, Marvel, Harry Potter and TV shows like Supernatural. But I never took it seriously. I never imagined it to be absolutely real real. What I experienced in the psychiatric hospital in Elizabeth, New Jersey was something that took me from being a believer in Christ Jesus to being on my spiritual death bed and feeling like I had nothing left to give. I thought...

"God, I know you exist but where are you? Why do I cry out for you constantly and all I hear is silence? Where is the God of Abraham that I learned about in church as a child? Where is the God I always acknowledge and don't often pray to? Where is Jesus Christ when I needed Him in that hospital where I literally saw the most amazingly ridiculous display of demonic activity for the very first time?"

People crave God when they are in the worst spaces of their lives. We call on God or a "Higher Power" when we realize that there is nothing we can possibly do to help ourselves. Do you know when I called on God? Seriously? Do you really want to know when I call on God?

I call on God to help the world. That's it. I rarely ask God to help me unless it's to ask God to help me when I'm in a physical or mental health emergency because my soul literally cries out to God openly and in public spaces. That is what the doctors call "Pre-occupied with religion" when they can't diagnose you with anything other than what they see you doing. And in my case, it was me praying out loud, in front of everyone, crying and also prophesying to others around me. I have stories for days on that one and that will be shared at another time.

This post, however, is a post about how God came to me in my free time after having been laid off and my mind was open, free of distraction. No more meetings from 9:30am-6:30pm Monday - Friday or longer and often on weekends depending on if we were in launch mode at the global advertising agency I worked for. I spent 20 + years working at high capacity where my brain was consistently and constantly overloaded and my efforts undervalued and overlooked for promotion after promotion.

I didn't have a relationship with God. I had an understanding of who God is and how God moved from the time of the ancient days in the bible and to the times now when people share their testimonies in church of how GREAT and AWESOME God is to them.

Looking back, I never got jealous of how AWESOME and GREAT God was to others because I always acknowledged that the breath in my lungs from Him breathing air into our nostrils was enough to be grateful for. That LIFE itself was a gift that I would never take for granted.

I'll tell you what. The devil is a liar and the blood of Jesus is against him. There is nothing in this world that would make me want to harm myself or others. But when God was ripping me away from the grip of Satan, God had the control to just pull me out once and for all, but He was testing me, strengthening me. Testing my resolve. Trials and Tribulations are all of our tests that we must go through in life when we come into the Kingdom of God. Some of us live in our trials and tribulations and die without fully coming to an understanding of how to ease our worries and place our cares at His mighty feet and for those lost souls I pray for Gods mercy. How willing are you to give yourself up freely, to fully submit and surrender yourself to Him in front of those who know you to be a certain "way"? This is what God is looking for in all of us. Submit and we shall receive everlasting life in the kingdom of the most high.

Y'all, I gave up Beyonce.

If you know me, you know that Bey has been a focus of mine since my childhood. I had dreams to be like her as a professional business woman and artist and her work ethic inspired me. But God spoke through a disciple of mine and said...

"It's not that she's the devil, but God wants you to know that what you aspire to be is already inside of you and He needs you to see your own greatness through Him and His works."

I had always praised Beyonce for being unstoppable and underrated. She was the underdog in the field of music for so long, although of course now, she obviously isn't. Everything she had to overcome made me angry with the world for her having to endure it all while being a black woman with so much strength, talent and kindness that it made me flock to her even more. As an underdog myself, I deserve my own time to shine and that is what God is telling me even right now. Hallelujah.

God says, "Everything I have for you is already promised to you. If you want what she had, you are selling yourself waaaaaay too short."

That stuck with me and even now as I write this, I can't believe God is still sharing things with me in the moment as I testify to you through this post. Hallelujah, again!

Being bold for the Lord is not a new concept to me. Now, ME, being bold for the Lord is a new ACTION for me for sure. I lost friends, I lost time, I lost opportunities and guess what? God does what He does for a reason. There are no other providers for us anywhere in the spiritual realm but God, in heaven, hallowed be His name, His kingdom come, HIS will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. God gives me daily bread EVERY SINGLE DAY and because I intellectualize, I am fascinated by His word and the miracles He performs for me daily, every moment of every day.

I have been so faithful to God all of my life, but I didn't know anything about a "relationship". Why no one had taught this to me so diligently as I have been learning about it now, is beyond me. It took for God to speak to me in the teeny tiniest little voice -- which by the way sounds like your own inner spirit saying "pick this up and put this right here." or "Breathe in 1, 2, 3, 4...breathe out 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold for 6, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and rest for 2." He sounds like our own internal thoughts. Only, when we initiate our own thoughts, we know we're in control of our own thinking. But when God comes into your heart, those thoughts feel like its coming out of your CHEST! AND, get this... mine came from my heart in the form of a scripture. I had a book in the bible with an exact verse. I was confused and floored.

My grandparents are bishop and pastor of a Pentecostal church in Jamaica, Queens and I always ask them for counselling when these things happen and they confirm for me what it is and what I should do. They said, "Look up the scripture and read it out loud." There is a scripture about what happens when you read the word of God out loud.

Romans 10:17

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

God wanted to forge me in the flames of the Holy Spirit and I was without a spiritual leader who could counsel me constantly to help me understand. My grandparents are older and the type of demonic presence I was dealing with required the Ghost busters of the millennium and that was impossible to achieve and I remember crying to God saying that no one will help me. I was under SPIRITUAL WARFARE ATTACKS CONSTANTLY AND DAILY!!!!

Then I heard God clearly one day and He said, "You're looking for all of these spiritual healers and pastors and people to help you spiritually. What better Spiritual leader and teacher than me?"

When I tell you that I have never had so many mics dropped on me by a single soul in this world. It took for God to come into my life and say, "Do you think that you are the only mic dropper around here? I created the sound of the wind, the trees which blow through the air that swarms with Elohim (I had to look that up by the way and I'm still learning). Do you think that I make mistakes when I call out to those who dare not listen but are too afraid to do as I stated in the bible which is let everything that has breath, praise the Lord your God? Every body, every being belongs to me. Every person you know is my creation, but know that only my creations who hear and know my voice are called my children. You are the sheep and I am the shepherd. You know my voice because you are mine. Don't forget the license to kill, steal and destroy that the devil has over this land. But the license is expired and he is overdue a butt whopping of a century. I call to you my children to awaken and arise and to become SPIRIT WARRIORS OF THE FLESH AND FIGHT BACK AGAINST THE TYRANNY THAT HAS CONSUMED YOUR COUNTRY AND YOUR PLANET."

I hear God say this to me constantly and now I understand why He separates me from social media so that I can hear Him and share His gospel to the people of this world. God is here and He will no longer allow satanic and demonic forces to consume His garden of Eden.

God surprises me all the time and even now, I am in the spirit of God as I write this. I have allowed myself to be preserved by His blood and Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I AM His vessel and because I'm His, He has revealed to me what I have been placed here on this planet to do. With the time I have left on this Earth, I devote myself to Christ and assume the position of General in the army of the Lord and I will continue to fight in the spiritual realm by advising, coaching and creating more spirit warriors who aren't afraid to use their skills, their spiritual gifts and talents. My book "Ballroom on Tower Street" is about a movement of women and men who will be taking back their lives, their God-given power and destroying not only their own yokes, but the yokes of others every single day. It is an African American Mythology of princes and principalities, women who are warriors, Queens and saints, Angels and demons who forge their way onto the earthly and human plane to protect or destroy what God created. Stay tuned for more, it's going to be a bumpy ride for sharing.

My time is almost up here on this Earth, as is many of yours too. Don't think I'm the only one with limited time on this planet. Our lives are like a blade of grass and a fleeting flower.

Isaiah 40:6-8

6 A voice says, “Cry out.” And I said, “What shall I cry?” “All people are like grass, and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field

7 The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass.

8 The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.”

Although I don't know when my time will be up for sure, God shows me that I still have so much work to do for His Kingdom and when I return to the stars, I will be with Him and Jesus Christ in the heavens and for this, I am grateful. God is in control. Amen.

When I say that God opens doors one man closed, I mean that even in the space and time that I have been unemployed after a lay off, I have determination and the places God has sent me has sent me to a multitude of opportunities. I am being set up for greatness one blessing at a time. All in Gods timing, amirite?!

Thank you for reading my first post on The TOI House, LLC website. I hope this gives you a sneak peek into what's in store for not only myself, but, for you as well. God blesses me so I can be a blessing to others. He didn't save my soul just for me to keep living in destitution.

God did it so that I can bear witness to his glory and salvation.

With everlasting love and "Zari" (which means "Divine love" -- from a language on Oritaya -- a world in my story world in my book "Ballroom on Tower Street"),

Toi Powell